Thursday, January 19, 2006

Nothing to Love

(Photo taken of ice formation on rock on Arrowsmith Mountain last year. So beautiful it kinda hurts. Don't know if it hurts because it's so beautiful or because it's so temporary.)

I love nothing.

That came out wrong.

I'm in love with...ACK...damn this bloody, bastardized language. This is why Buddhism could not have been born in the west. Maybe that's how Russia gave birth to Nihilism. It was all just a big misunderstanding.

Heck, I shouldn't be loving nothing anyways. I'll just become too attached to it and then I'll drive it away. Nah, nothing wouldn't leave me? Would it?

Most likely I'll just forget it somewhere like on the edge a gas station bathroom sink, where it'll grow into a brilliant fuschia gas station bathroom algae bloom and take over the world.

Maybe it'll wander off one night and end up hitching a ride with a bunch of tree planters. Homesickness will get to it and it'll walk back home only to be shot in the leg by a drunken target hunter. The hunter brings nothing home to heal and nothing returns the favor by boffing the hunter's wife. Then the hunter offs himself to frame...wait, how the hell did nothing end up on the set of Clay Pigeon? Which, BTW, is one of the most under-rated movies of the last decade. Love the chemistry between Vince Vaughn and Joaquin Phoenix. Loved that Joaquin did Brother Bear. Great animated movie about rights of passage and examination of self and who we deem as our enemies. Also, SCTV's McKenzie brothers show up in this movie disguised as a pair of moose, making this Disney film about a hunter that becomes a bear more Canadian than anything Cronenberg every made.

I would presume than the writers of this film based the story on the Dancing Bear mythology. The Dancing Bear is the ubiquitous stone carvings of a happy bear balanced on one foot that, along with the Inukshuk, represent 98.5% of the Inuit art being sold in Canadaland. In Inuit mythology, humans are reincarnated as animals and since the bear is the king of the land up in the Great White North, one would be so thrilled to come back as this gorgeous creature that they would bust a move. Reincarnation is not just a process between lives but also within one's life. Our stages from birth to death is linked by reincarnations as we leave our old selves and enter the realm of our new selves. Sometimes these shifts are ritualized into graduations, weddings, christenings, debutante balls etc. All are rites of passage and involve some form of ritualized death and rebirth.

Words, simple shifts of words, can sometimes be all that is needed to close one door and open another . "I now pronounce you blah blah blah."

Words often mark milestones in a relationship. Walls are breached from the first 'hello'.

How many hours have I sat with pencil and paper untangling words from my brain until that one word comes and it all just spills out.

But words are nothing.



I love nothing.

I also love freshly ground coffee. I spent a good 5 mins sniffing freshly ground Mexican Chiapas coffee and watching the storm come in.

I also love Manchego cheese. Can't find any Manchego cheese in this town this week. Might have to find a way into the underground Manchego cheese cartel.

I'm such a slut. Yep, a rambling, coffee-sniffing, cheese hunting, knitting-freak, nothing of a slut. And you all love me for that!

Kisses and smackings to you all.

P.S. - Pat your scarf is ready. I might send it over via flying marmots. Be on the watch for flying marmot poop. That shit stains. Maybe I'll just wait & give it to you the next time I see ya.

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